The Rulebook of Marching Season
by Joyful-Sound
Summary: A set of guidelines directed at the crazy stuff us band geeks do that our directors don't like. Newest set of rules: Trumpets!
1. Band!

**Anyone up to read the rulebook of Marching band? Something completely random and should remind some of you of the wacky events of your band… I've been seeing these kinds of stories pop up all over the other categories. Why not for band?**

**The rating is because there is some… er… questionable stuff in here… XD It's not really that bad, though. **

We may not threaten to try out for the football team because we think we are better at football than the football players are.

Even if we are

That would make us miss halftime

Since the football team misses it anyway

We may not say that trumpets want to take over the world

Even if they do

Nor may we tell this to the flutes, which will have the rumor all over the campus in under a minute

We may not taunt the athletic kids with our supernatural abilities

Even if we have them

We must stop thinking about having supernatural abilities

'Meet the Parents' or any movie like that is strictly forbidden from the band bus

We may not question the director about that

We may not skip pep rally days to prove that the band makes the pep rallies happen

Even if we all are sick

This also goes for football games

And practice days

We may not bring food into the band hall unless otherwise repealed by the band director

If food is allowed, we must be careful when we buy a bowl of nacho cheese for our chips

We may not drool over the DCI marching band guys

Even if they are cute

We may not approach said people and tell them they are cute

We may not have our faces painted for homecoming

It would get paint on our uniform

We may not beg the uniform manager for the keys to the uniform room

Or the custodian

After doing said act, we may not burn the concert season dresses and tuxes

Even if they are more dorky than the marching uniforms

We may not act like band is our life

Even though it is

Football games are not social time.

Not that we have any friends outside of band anyway

We may not dance stupidly to drum cadences

We are to act like mature teenagers

If there even is a such thing

Talking about band is okay

Talking about band to annoy others isn't

Band Camp must be taken seriously

Even though a certain movie makes us think differently

We may not tease the flutes about this

Saxes are not instruments of torture

We are not allowed to say they are

This also goes for trumpets

Throwing around objects that make everyone dodge them and giggle are not allowed on the bus

We may not sneak R rated movies on the bus

'Lights out at midnight' should be taken seriously

That does not give us the right to switch seats

Or to get close to a 'friend' of the opposite gender

Whatever happens on the band bus, STAYS on the band bus

This does not give the tubas the right to stalk the flutes to make sure they aren't talking about said events

Even if the flutes do

Or any other instrument for that matter

The dance team should not be targets for flying objects

That includes the color guard flagpoles

Even if the dance team has fake flags that they use during the show that make the color guard mad

We must think of the safety of our instrument before we act

This includes revenge schemes

We may not mess up the dance team song on purpose

Even if they make us look bad

Wearing underwear on top of your head does not imitate the hats the tuba players wear

Since they can't wear a plume

Even if the hats look like that

Plumes are not to be used for any activity outside of marching band

We must not make up our own drills

Even if we thought a big blob was a good set

We may not switch places with other people during a parade

Especially if we are in uniform

We may not wear pink sunglasses during a parade

Even if the sun is shining directly in front of us

We may not paint the marching field with glow in the dark paint

Even if we can't see where we are going during morning rehearsal

Obnoxious noises during early morning practice will get the police called on the band

Just because the temperature falls under freezing does not mean we can roll around in the grass like snow is falling to get out of practice

We must listen to the seniors

Spit valves are to be emptied before halftime, not during

'All You Can Eat' buffets are not to be used for pizza eating contests.

Or any other food contest

Even if that bass drummer can shove two pieces of pizza in his mouth at the same time

We are to net tell freshmen their plumes are on backwards

Even if we want to

This includes drum majors

We may not come unglued when the dance team is imitating the drum majors during practice

Or any other time of day for that matter

We may not walk out of the band hall with our uniform jacket on backwards

The boys may not run down the halls in their boxers when their changing

Even if their suspenders were stolen by another guy

This goes into play when school is in session

Especially if people are in the middle of switching classes

The mascot is not a drum major. Therefor, we must not laugh at his attempts to be one at the games

Trombone slides may not be used for the hitting of anyone's head

Bass Clarinets are not saxophones

We may not confuse people not in band by saying so

We may not hide the piccolo case in a tuba case

Even if it fits with plenty of room

Or because it's funny when the piccolo player flips out

Tripping during the scatter drill to go off the field is not funny

Although we think it is

Color guard is to keep their flag poles away from the main group while marching

Especially the flute section

Tripping the entire flute and clarinet section while marching isn't funny

Since they are all going backwards

Although we still think it is hilarious

When a drum major says 'One lap around the school!' we must obey

We may not walk during said lap

Or drive our cars around the school

Or make fun of the freshmen actually running

The color guard suits are not to be made fun of

Even if the guys in it are wearing blue glittered outfits

'My instrument ate it' may not be used as a homework excuse

If your instrument has a name, you must keep that to yourself

Glow sticks are not a valid replacement for plumes

Even if they look cool

Blankets are for the weak

We are all weaklings

Throwing chips around the bus is strictly forbidden

Even if the school district would rather give the dance team a charter and the band some three old yellow buses

We may not throw a tantrum if said events take place

We may not teach the dance team the wrong way to march

Even if they are freshmen

Only pass your can of soda down the bus if you aren't sick

If you are, make sure to warn the people about to drink out of it

Hatboxes are not trash bins

We may not use them as such thing

Any music player is fine

Just make sure you're not listening to it during halftime

Cell phones should not be on vibrate during halftime

Just incase you get a call, and your phone is in your jacket pocket

We may not stuff the skinny sophomore in the tuba

Or anybody in any other grade for that matter

Even if he wants to be shoved into a tuba

We may not shove a dance team member in the tuba

Oops. They wouldn't fit

We must stop talking about the dance team that way

Although we have the strong urge to

The color guard may not practice in the band hall anymore

Or any other area with breakable light fixtures

And trophies

Marching percussion instrument lockers are not to be locked with anyone in them

Unless said person locked in was in orchestra

We must scratch out that last one, giving a full apology to the orchestra

We may not put make up on any guy while he is sleeping on this bus

Or put shaving cream on them

Or any other item that could cause potential embarrassment

Especially the drum majors

Or the guys that are okay with wearing make-up

Pictures from the band bus may not be used as blackmail

Guys may not go into the Claire's store in an out of town mall and ask where to get some glitter

Or Victoria's Secret asking for who knows what

Girls cannot be dared to go into a sports store and ask for male sports gear

That last one goes for guys as well

Band people don't need those

We may not speak of false events at band camp

Gum will not fix everything

Including instruments

Reeds may not be used as money

Even if they are expensive

We may not have dates with our instrument

Even if we spend every Friday night with it

The director isn't afraid to leave anyone behind

This includes the trumpet soloist

We may not put any thing brown on one of the drum majors' seat

Or any other color liquid

Even if it's funny that their white pants stain easily

We hereby accept these rules and adjustments to our current behavior and understand why this is a necessary action to take

Signed,

_The bands of the 2006 marching season_

**xxx**

**What do you think? Should I continue with one for each section?**


	2. Flutes

**I'm back! This is for all of us flute players out there! I've got some really great ideas for later chapters, and those would have already been written, but I was trying to update my gazillion other in-progress stories before I realized I had this one going. Also have a major project due this week.. Eep. **

**Xxx**

We may not stalk random cute woodwind players

Taking our instruments out during a class outside of band will not amuse the teacher

Even if it is to show off our small cases to the tuba player in the room

We may not hit trumpets over the head when they refer to 'Band camp'

We may not talk about events on the band bus

We may not take pictures on the band bus

We may not show said pictures to everyone at school

Nor may we use them for blackmail

We may not tell everyone trumpets still want to take over the world

We may not bring our make-up on the band trip to put on the guy drum major

We may not put make-up on anyone but ourselves

Hitting a trombone player on top of the head isn't amusing to anyone but us

Even if he does roll on the floor in pain

This also goes for kicking anyone where it hurts when they tease us about 'Band Camp'

Even if they still are rolling on the floor in pain

Playing high A on a piccolo can damage eardrums

Our section leader is not our mother

We may not pretend to trip over our mums marching down the track to go to the stands at homecoming

Tuning must be done before class

We may not go to tune during warm-ups

We may not go to an out of town mall and rate guys on their cuteness

We may not drag the guy flute players into this

Buying bright yellow section shirts is fine

But everyone has to agree on it

Exaggerating our flute angles will only get the director angry

Putting our flute incredibly low, then pulling it up really high will also get the director mad

We may not go on piccolo just because we don't feel like holding our flute up

We must ask the director before going on piccolo

Gossiping while marching the drills is not allowed

Especially if it is the rehearsal before contest

That can wait for the band bus

Being nosey isn't nice

Even if the cute clarinet player has a girlfriend

We may not interrogate her

We can bring fleece fuzzy blankets to the cold games

We can not use it to get close to said cute clarinet player

Pink sunglasses are not allowed during parades

We may not bring them

Stowing hairspray in our hatboxes will get us in trouble

Even if our hair looks bad after halftime

We may not attack the color guard for tripping us during a show

We are not color guard, so we may not attempt to flag-twirl.

We may not play our marching music during the quick breaks for all-region band try-outs

We may not talk about band to annoy others

We may not just talk to annoy others

The mellophones don't care if we think the clarinet section leader is cute

Or any other cute person

We may not go up and hug random people in a mall

This also goes for telling random people 'I Love You'

Our iPods or mp3 players cannot be loud enough for anyone to hear them

Especially if we are playing a girly song

Not everybody wants to listen to Aly&AJ

Chick flicks are not allowed on the bus

Mainly because guys refuse to watch them

We may not play everything an octave higher just so we can be heard

Even if you can't hear us

There's a flute soli for that

We may not demand respect from anybody

We may not attempt putting a clarinet in our case

We may not plan for the band to raid the movie theatre

Unless the director is invited

Just because it's karaoke time in a mall does not mean we can take the microphone

Our band doesn't need our musical reputation ruined because of our bad singing

We must act like we know what we're doing

Even though we don't

We may not buy glitter and throw it around the bus

Or on it

Even if it's an ugly yellow bus

Faking sixteenth note runs is not okay

Even if they can't be heard

We may not take the schools' bass flute and try to march with it

That's not until concert season

We may not fight over who will play the bass flute during concert season

If we do, nobody will play it

We may not just talk during sectional rehearsal

We may not trade flutes during a sectional rehearsal

We must get at least a new piece learned during sectional rehearsal

We may not get a pass for the bathroom in another class, and take a detour through the band hall

We may not try to be a string player

Even if the orchestra just leaves their violins out for everyone to see

We may only have one pair of shoes in our locker

Those shoes have to be tennis shoes

We may not share lockers with a baritone sax just because they have plenty of room

We must keep excessive pony tail holders or scrunchies during games

Just because everyone that needs to borrow one will turn to the hair-care queens

Although we are not near as bad as those stupid cheerleaders and dance team members

We may not compare our hair to theirs

We have to wear marching hats

We should not care

We may not encourage obnoxious sounds by giggling at them

This only makes the guys make obnoxious noises more often

We may not chase people off of the marching field after school

We may not guard the marching field like it is a medieval castle

We may not agree to any dares we know will make other people give us weird looks

We must agree to these rules

_We now understand that we need to tone down the talking and start listening to our director (for once)_

_Signed,_

_The Flutes of the 2006 marching season_

**Xxx **

**Yay! I updateddddddd!**

**Shorter than the others, but I wanting to go ahead and move on to the others! Ideas for the next few chapters would be great! The chapter lineup is on my profile… Just scroll down to 'Stories' and 'Marching band' It's there ;)**


	3. Clarinets

**Been forever since my last update, but I've been busy! Some of these come from the Clarinets at my school, but I'd love some more suggestions! Since I'm a flute, I don't know much about other instruments… However, I'm trying to make these the funniest things I've ever written.**

**Xxx**

The band director doesn't like to find the cut-off tips of our gloves on the band hall floor.

We may not claim they're 'Ghost Babies'

Although they do resemble small ghosts

We also may not draw faces on them

The correct place for them is in the trashcan

We may not eavesdrop on the sixth grade beginner group playing

For sure, we will hear a squeaking clarinet in there

We may not send our section leader to have a 'chat' with said squeaking clarinet

We may not complain there are not enough clarinet solos

We may not attempt to get on the soprano sax

Or the oboe

Even though the oboe's keying chart is more like the flutes'

We may not write love notes to our instrument

Putting stickers on our case is fine

Pitting stickers on our instrument is not

We may not get mad when people ask if our case is a flute case

Taking out of instrument during class, like the flutes, is prohibited

Teachers don't like that

We may not claim that the dance team broke our reed

We may not explain it broke because it was tired of playing their half-time song

Our section leader may not get freaked out by random flutes stalking him

The flutes shouldn't be stalking him anyway

We may not tease our section leader because he is one of the only guys that plays the clarinet

We do not need to tune as much as the flutes do

If the saxes kidnap one of our freshmen, we may not give into their demands

Especially if the demands are reeds

Those things are expensive!

We may not retaliate and kidnap the freshmen baritone sax.

We must handle our instrument with care

Even though it's perfect for knocking people over the head with

We may not hide our plumes in our instrument

Even if it fits

We have to wear those

We may not take them home, either

If we do manage to take them home, we may not take them to class

Teachers will take it up, and our director will be very angry with us

Different from what we think, some people just don't want to hear anymore about what we did in band today

We may not say we can't talk in class because a reed gave us a splinter in our tongue

We also may not ask the teacher to help get it out

That's what our mothers are for

Like the flutes, our section leader is not our mother.

Or father if he's a guy.

We may not take our reeds out during class

When asked about it, we may not say that we are 'keeping them wet'

We also may not claim our reeds are our version of gum

We may not offer a teacher one

Using the excuse 'we are blind' as a reason we didn't see the director cut our whole note off isn't allowed

We may not attempt to teach our history teacher to play the clarinet

We may not print up crude humor jokes online and route them to the band

Just because the director doesn't get onto us that much does not mean we are the best students

We may not act like the drum line doesn't exist

They just have a different class period to rehearse, that's all

We may not steal anyone's plumes

We may not try to tell our biology teacher we need to start learning 'The Anatomy Of A Clarinet'

Not everybody wants to learn all the parts of a clarinet

When someone plays the song 'Never Far Behind' on the bus, we may listen.

However, we may not get up and start playing air guitar

Or air clarinet

Also, we may not use the lyrics to creep people out

Like going around giving people weird looks and saying 'I am sending you a message'

We may not use any lyrics of any pop song to creep people out

Or any song, for that matter

That would give the people not in band a weird vision of band

Not that they already think we are all nerds

We may not take the flutes' idea of telling random people 'I love you'

We may not tell a teacher that

We may not tell our director that

Telling anyone that will get us a half-hour detention of cleaning out old lockers. YUCK!

When someone upsets us, we may not run to the band hall yelling 'Mommy! Mommy! That big football kid called me stupid!'

We also may not refer to our band director as our mother or father

If our section leader has a girlfriend/boyfriend, we may not snoop

If the flutes try to get us to, we still must refuse

Especially if they're paying us

Snooping isn't nice

We also may not try to break them up

Although our section leader should not need a boyfriend/girlfriend

Aren't we good enough of a family to cover for one?

We may not ask him/her that last one

We may not get mad when we are attempted to be controlled

Even if the trombones think because their instruments are bigger, they are better

We'll show them

We may not do that last one

We must scratch that out

'My plume ate it' is not a valid excuse

We may not attempt to hold our clarinets so that they are level with the ground

We do not need to worry about that stuff

That's for the flutes to worry about (haha!)

We may not attempt to form an alliance with other sections

We shouldn't need to do that

We should all get along

In conclusion, we may not continue to obsess over plumes and any other random thing we can come up with.

_We agree to follow these rules and will stop obsessing over plumes, along with our random outbursts. We also agree that there is only so much Clarinet pride that people can handle_

_Signed, _

_The Clarinets of the 2006 Marching Season_

**Xxx**

**So what'd ya think? Good? Bad? **

**I thought I needed to update, because I'm running out of time for winter break! So I'm writing about four different updates (I also have tons of OneShots that I need to post in the other category I write in). Anyway, feedback and suggestions are greatly appreciated!**

**The full chapter line-up is posted on my profile (same place as it's always been), so start getting ready to help when it comes to your sections!**


	4. Saxophones

**Lots to add! I promise, for all of you suggesting stuff in categories I already posted, once this fic is done, I'll get those up (I'll make sure to add credit for you if you're a registered user!). Anyway, after having a fun little chat with my Sax friends, I'm back and writing this!**

**Xxx**

If we deem ourselves the 'Sax Line', we may make section shirts saying that

We may not alter any vowels in 'Sax Line'

We especially may not cover up the 'A' in 'Sax Line' and replace it with another vowel

Going up to people and telling them 'I hate you' is not the thing to do

We may not tell the freshmen that freshmen have to walk backwards during parades

We may not compare French horn players to Kenny G.

We may not harass said French horn player to hold the soprano saxophone to compare him to the picture

We many not compare anyone to Kenny G, for that matter

Nobody wants to hear about famous Saxophonists.

Except us, that is

We are the almighty SAXOPHONES!

We may not say that in public

Just because we can pick up a baritone sax does not mean we are power lifters

We may not use our instruments as power lifting tools

We may not kidnap the freshmen clarinet

We may not demand their section leader give us reeds in return

We may not kidnap the drum major

Kidnapping is not allowed

Even if we are nice to our hostages and give them lots of cookies

Reeds are not a form of money

We may not help the trumpets rule the world

We are woodwinds

We may not complain when it comes to ruling the world

We may not try to do vibrato unless the director tells us to

Only famous Jazz players do that

We may only bring one blanket to the football games

We may not bring an extra one for our instrument

We may not spray paint our instrument pink

Even if it'll match those cute sunglasses the flutes let us borrow

We may not do any of these anyway

These rules are for our own good

We are not wrestlers

We may not go into the weight room and socialize

That is not our place

Our place is the band hall

We may not chase people off the marching field

We may not tell them they are 'not worthy' to walk on Saxophone ground

We may not have races down the halls while changing

We may not take a percussionist's suspenders

We may not make them chase us down the halls in their boxers

Making fun of the Drum Line isn't nice

Taking our cases to class is fine

Taking our cases to class to use as a footrest isn't

Throwing up in the bell is not a necessary action to take when feeling bad

If we do, we must clean it out

Not our director

Not our mother

Not some random percussionist

It must be the person responsible

We may not reply that we are irresponsible

Even if we are

We may not randomly start crying if our instrument gets a dent

We may not cry in class

Yelling at random people in the halls because they are out of step is not funny

The looks on their faces aren't funny either

We may not laugh at that

Soprano Saxes are jazz instruments only

We may not steal a Clarinet ligature and attempt to swallow it

Like in Spongebob!

We may not send a nasty e-mail to the creator of Spongebob because they broke the reed

We may not write rude letters to producers on any show

Or movie

Especially point out the fact that there were no saxophones (or woodwinds) featured in High School Musical

Only those darn trumpets

And trombones

And tubas…

Or the percussionist

But who cares about them?

We must scratch that last one out

Taking torches to the concert season dresses and tuxes is not allowed

Even though the uniform manager/quarter master is in our section

We may not ignore these rules

We may not take these off the bulletin board

We may not go and scratch out all the 'not' s on these pages

We may not set up a band Myspace

Especially if we post pictures from the band bus on it

Or videos

We may not put 'Meet the Parents' on the charter bus TV when the director goes to sleep

We may not act sneaky

That will give the director reason to be suspicious

We may not act sneaky just to get the director suspicious

Nintendo DS players are allowed on the bus

However, we may not talk to each other through there and plan another kidnapping

We may not go to a therapist with our problem being 'we love inanimate objects'

Especially if the inanimate object is our instrument

Our band director does not like getting calls from the therapist asking about our behavior

We may not go to the counselors with this problem, either

We may not put extra chocolate in our cookies

That trombone player does not need anymore chocolate

We may not give him the cookies just to watch him bounce off the walls

We may not fake a broken leg during marching season

Our ideas of jokes aren't funny

Especially if they are crude humor

Flutes…band camp… haha

We must scratch out that last one

We may not write 'SAXES RULE' all over this paper

We may not do anything to cover up the rules on this sheet

We may not run down the halls calling for our mommy

We may not flirt with the random percussionists' girlfriend

We may not flirt with anybody's girlfriends besides our own

If we don't have one, we may not complain to the director about that

They don't want to know about our pathetic love life

We may not throw a pool party and throw the assistant band director in

Even if he was a percussionist when he was in high school

We may not throw unsuspecting percussionists in the pool

That's not funny to anyone but us and the rest of the band

Random percussionists are not amused by our antics

We realize that it's time we start being nicer to random percussionists and that we are not the woodwind versions of trumpets.

_Signed,_

_The Saxophones (SAX LINE!) of the 2006 marching season_

**Xxx**

**Fun fun fun! Sorry took so long to update. Solo and Ensemble coming up, so I'm really really really busy.**

**Next victim: Trumpets!**

**The category everyone's been waiting for (besides the color guard…). Anyway, hope it was funny enough to make you laugh. That's what I was aiming for –giggle- **


	5. Trumpets

**This update took way too long to get up! I'm so sorry! **

**I'm not dead. I swear. Just… busy! Of course, I'm sure you all know how that goes ;)  
****Dun dun dun! It's Trumpet time! Most of these are based off of actual events. You've been warned…**

**Xxx**

Mouthpieces are not for imitating obnoxious bodily noises

We may not buzz our mouthpieces in class

Especially if the class is actually being quiet

We may not explain to our science teacher that we are demonstrating the physics of sound vibrations

Just because the drum majors are on our section does not give us any reign of power over the other sections

We may not randomly play the super Mario brother's theme song

We may not play that to replace a part in a solo piece

We may not call ourselves winded percussionists

We may not say percussionists are 'concussionists'

Ruling the world must be done outside of school

Nor may it take place during Marching Season

We may pick up where we left off during the summer

But when summer band camp rolls around, we must put away the plans

We may not discuss this stuff on the band bus

The band bus is not a place to get 'close' to people

We may not see how many freshmen can be shoved into the charter bus bathroom

It stinks in there

It is not nice to do that to freshies.

We may not brag that we make out with someone everyday

Especially if that 'someone' is our instrument

That's not true

We may not snicker when the director wants the woodwinds to play their sixteenth note runs

We may not respond and ask why woodwinds have 'the runs'

We may not act like we are the superior beings

Questioning the flutes why they don't stalk us is not right

We may not get mad when they simply reply that we aren't cute enough

Randomly hugging people in the hallway isn't funny

We may not drink four energy drinks before we get on the bus to go home

We may not get a hold of any amount of energy drinks

Jocks are not tuners

Therefor, we may not blast our trumpets in their ears

Visuals may not be used to hit people in the head

Jazz band is not social hour

Neither is class

But we don't get graded on Jazz band

We may not write fanfiction about how we took over the world

Even if it is written nicely

We may not go and revise this to our advantage on fanfiction

That would be mean to the flutist taking time to write this out

Wait… who cares?

We must ignore that last one

We may not make random acronyms for band

**B**etter

**A**nd

**N**icer

**D**orks

That's not really that funny

Who are we kidding, that's freaking hilarious

To us, anyway

It's just really corny

We may not give nasty reviews to this

Acting like it's the end of the world when we dent our trumpet is not tolerated

Acting immature in general is not good

Even though that's how we really are

We may not act like we can rap

Raps about band are not amusing to people who really listen to that

We may not make up cheers about how bad the football team is

Even if they are

We must leave that up to the cheerleaders

If we are guys- we may not hit on cheerleaders when we're coming off the field after halftime

If we are girls- we may not try to blow kisses to our boyfriends during halftime

But… shouldn't our boyfriends be in band?

Ignore that.

We may not write 'world dominator' as our name on our Geometry homework

Or any other homework

We may not require everyone to call us 'Bob One', 'Bob Two', etc.

Forcing those pathetic minds to do that is not nice.

Calling them pathetic isn't nice.

We must stop that.

Bad trumpets!

Speaking of which, we may not treat the other band members like dogs.

Like commanding them to 'Sit' and 'Stay'

Only the director can do that

Head banging will give us headaches.

AC/DC has been banned from the band bus

For that reason above

Rules are to be followed

Especially these

We may not put 'Trumpets Rule!' on the color guard flags.

Declaring a band song is okay

But everyone must agree

For senior favorites, we can vote for people in band

However, forcing others to vote is not nice

Jocks are stronger than us

We need to get used to it

Piccolo trumpets are not toys

They are for a certain trumpet ensemble and drum corps

Song lyrics are not to be taken literally

Like 'I've hit the highway'

Imitating the literal stunts is not allowed

'Hitting the highway' literally will hurt us

The dance team uniforms are not flattering to our figure

So, we may not wear them

Color guard uniforms are also off-limits

Sparkly outfits in general are out of the question

Even if some of us are girls

Pretending to sleep walk on the band bus is not funny

Neither is pretending to dance in your sleep

Or make out with the pillow…

On the other hand, we may not imitate doing anything in our sleep

_We may not scream at that one last chair freshman_

Even if he does play out of tune 

_We can not put confetti in the bells_

_We may not act like pixy stix are a kind of drug_

_Even if they do make up really hyper_

_And delusional_

_We also may not hit other people's mouthpieces to get them stuck in their trumpets_

_We may not dance or make up weird lyrics to the songs we play_

_Because they don't make sense_

_But they do to us. _– Italicized rules suggested by Hydro-Wolf

We are not funny.

Period.

No questions asked.

_We, the future rulers of the world _(pfft, yeah right)_, hereby accept these terms and conditions. We realize we are not really that funny and that people just think we are immature in our own special way._

_-The Trumpets of the 2006 Marching Season_

**xxx**

**Sorry for the delay, once again. I have no excuse besides Solo and Ensemble (I MADE A DIVISION 1!!! AHH!!)**

**So, next section is for our Mellophone and French Horn players. I know there are tons of you reading, so feel free to PM me ahead of time (like before I post the next chapter…) and give me some rules you guys would like to see on here (as you see, I do write down who submitted them). **

**Okay, I'm done talking/typing. **

**Thanks for reading! **


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